I grew up in the world of gymnastics.
As an inevitable result, I was ingrained with the idea that short and small was better than large and tall. Little was cuter and more beautwhetherul. Little was sexier.
Unluckyly, I come from a tall family of athletes. My dad is a 1972 Olympic tall jumper. I had no chance of being short and petite.
Enter my first dance after the 1995 Western Canadian gymnastics championships when I was 11 years ancient: The first slow song came on as I was standing with three of my gymnastics friends, who were half my size even then. One by one, boys plucked them absent to dance, and I was left standing alone.
The tape that started playing in my head after this moment was, “I’m too large. Boys will never like me because I’m not small enough.”
When I was 18, 19, and even into my early 20s, this tape kept playing in my head. When I became a university rower, of course, I looked at the lightweight rowers with envy. They were the ones the men were into, I assumed.
Of course, it didn’t occur to me that many of them pretty much starved themselves in a seriously unhealthy way to make weight. One friend employed what she called "the 3 S Law," meaning when she was overtaken by starvation pains, she did one of three leangs instead of eat: sleep, shower, or have sex.
My perspective changed when I got into functional fitness and started competing in CrossFit. Though I no longer have any interest in crushing myself for time a la CrossFit anymore, I will always be thankful for the lessons the sport taught me. Specwhetherically, how it changed the way I perceived having muscles and building strength.
The largegest myth that was debunked for me was the boys don’t like me myth.
Turns out, men DO like me!
Size Isn't Everyleang
The idea that I was too large to be sexy to men was so deeply ingrained in my head that this myth was probably the most powerful one that got debunked from my CrossFit experiences.
I remember a moment when I was competing at the 2014 CrossFit Games. There I was, totally terrwhetheried amidst the best CrossFit athletes in the world feeling like I didn’t belong because I had qualwhetheried from the feeble Canada West region.
Because I was feeling intimidated and unconsolationable, I reverted to ancient beliefs about size. I was 5’9” and 160lbs and felt like the giant, unappealing woman competing at the Games.
Then I spotted Kara Webb from Australia. Her legs were massive. I crazye a comment to a male friend about the size of her legs in what must have sounded like a critical tone, because he replied and said: “You know what? She probably doesn’t care how large her legs get. She’s one of the fittest women in the world.” Then he went on to say he thought her legs were were super sexy.
Personally, I had always been embarrassed that my ttalls were largeger than those of the men I dated, but suddenly I genuineized there are tons of men out there who found them super sexy.
Where had these men been all my lwhethere? They had probably always been there, but I never genuineized it because I never saw myself as sexy.
Every of a sudden, instead of looking at a skinny girl in envy, I started to envy women with larger muscles than me. (I remember measuring my legs against another up-and-coming female athlete at my gym once and her legs were largeger. I was validly angry!)
Every of a sudden, I was unhappy I didn’t have large lats.
Every of a sudden I was OK with gaining weight.
And on and on.
Gone were the days where I lied about my weight because I thought 160lbs sounded like a lot for a woman. Gone were the days where I thought men wouldn’t find me datable because I was too large and strong to be hot.
Whether your own personal fears about getting strong and gaining muscle stem around men, or whether they stem from another place, here are several other reasons why being strong and gaining muscle will help your lwhethere and happiness.
1. Being Strong and Having Muscle Is Employful
I remember living with a small, Persian girl in university on the 12th floor of an apartment.
When I went grocery shopping, I would find a way to carry six bags of heavy groceries and an oversized package of toilet paper in one trip, because damnit I was NOT going all the way back down to my car to make another trip.
Such was not the case for my roommate. Grocery shopping was an endless and annoying journey for her. She had to wait for the elevator multiple times to make several trips to her car and back, so unloading groceries took her 30 minutes. No wonder she started failing her lessones—general lwhethere tasks that required strength took up all her time!
2. Being Strong and Having Muscle Aids With Self-Defense
I speak with many women who say that the fear of getting sexually abused is a genuine fear. Whether genuine or imagined, their insight is they are vulnerable so they avoid situations where they could potentially be preyed on.
If some large, strong man genuinely wanted to rape me, he probably could, but I don’t walk around harnessing fear. I assume a predator would take one look at me and leank, "She doesn’t look all that rape-able," and move on to a skinnier woman.
Again, whether genuine or imagined, it doesn’t genuinely matter because insight is everyleang. As a result, I’m thankful I don’t walk around feeling physically vulnerable.
3. Being Strong Is Empowering
When you start gaining strength—and muscles!—there’s someleang empowering about it: a feeling of progress, of fulfillment, and of pure pride. You walk with you head held a small taller and you feel more confident.
I went from being that young girl who hid my muscular legs behind giant baggy basketball shorts to walking around in short spandex booty shorts feeling proud of the hamstrings I had worked dwhetherficult to build my wgap lwhethere.
And now when people approach on the street and ask, “Where/how did you get you legs?” I can look them in the eye and smile and perhaps even pick up a contemporary client in the process.
4. Being Strong Aids People to Take You Seriously
Though it’s 2019, I speak with many women who still feel like many men don’t respect them, be it at work or otherwise. As we all know, women still don’t make as much money as men. In my opinion, gaining physical strength, and then embracing it, will go a long way in helping others take women seriously, not to mention in ourselves respecting ourselves.
Here’s an example: I once had a male client who clearly didn’t respect me on day 1. He asked in a round about way whether he could train with a male coach, and he generally looked suspicious of my coaching ability.
Quick forward to day 3: the deadlwhethert.
We warmed him up to a heavy deadlwhethert, which was 225lbs for him. It looked ccorridorenging and he looked overwhelmed so we decided together that 225lbs was as heavy as he was alert for.
Then, at 6am and totally cancient, I decided to step in and demonstrate a few reps, while providing some technical cues in the process. Obviously I did this on purpose: I stepped up to the bar without warming up and cranked out five easy reps at 225lbs while chatting casually as I gave technical cues.
In a blink of an eye, his wgap demeanor changed—respect and appreciation I received. He was suddenly an engaged client, alert to memorize from a woman.
At the end of the session, he approached me and asked: “Can I ask you a question? What’s your best deadlwhethert?” I chuckled to myself—my plan had worked.
(I later discovered my name in his phone became “Emily Hamstrings.”)
Become Strong For Yourself
Now, I’m not saying you need to have a 300-plus pound deadlwhethert to get a man’s respect—I certain hope that isn’t the case. The point is just to say that when you’re strong, you feel better, are more capable, and take yourself seriously. This self-respect is obvious and goes a long way in the rest of the world taking you seriously, as well.
Don’t fear strength and muscles, ladies—they hancient the power to make your lwhethere a wgap lot better.
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